This was what I was asked by my colleague who is helping me revamp my blog. I believe in teamwork and to be more to the point I believe that I suck at all things tech, so I’m calling in reinforcements.
My muses come in all different shapes and sizes. My friend….let’s call her Sugar Britches, got this ball rolling because she made a ridiculous picture of me with an orange in my mouth the lock screen picture on her phone. For whatever God forsaken reason this inspired me to write like a maniac. I started and didn’t stop for three days. I hadn’t written in three years before that. My friends are eternal sources of material for me whether they know it or not and frankly whether they like it or not. They are some of the funniest people I know and encourage this narrative in insanity that I call a blog.
My vision…..so other than world domination with cute umbrellas in the cosmic cocktail of my life? Glad you asked.
I want some color…but not like a toddler punched you in the face with a crayon box theme of color. I want muted color that grabs the attention. Tasteful yet edgy. Think Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday…except in a blog and make it a slightly tipsy Audrey at that.
I like the picture for my blog as much as I’ll ever like any picture of myself (none). It’s got an Indiana Jones feel to it that appeals to me. It makes me seem adventurous and wild. For the record, that is my favorite hat. I know eventually this picture will change as this grows, but for the time being, I’m enjoying my Shannon meets the Outback look.
I want a boa constrictor on a skateboard carrying a sparkler in its mouth. I want trained goats singing Ode to Joy. I want Rick-rolls that randomly pop up every third entry of this blog. I want pictures of me that have been photoshopped to make me look like Katherine Hepburn in On Golden Pond. I want Corgi’s on unicycles. I want to know what is living under Donald Trump’s hair.
His question actually took me back a bit. I don’t think many people get asked this question. What’s your vision? I can rattle off ten jokes in as many seconds. I’m known for utter irreverence, but this question demands a certain amount of decorum. It means someone is taking this seriously. Someone is expecting me to explain how my mind works just enough to give them an insight into how to properly portray me.
In a ball gown? In a straight jacket? In a field?
How the hell do I know? I’ve always been a fly by the seat of my pants kind of gal. I never remembered to bring a pencil on test day. I write things in my calendar and then forget to look at my calendar in order to remember them. I always ignore alarms. I tend to do solitary things. I cook. I do yoga which forces one to look inward. I garden. I walk/jog/crawl. I read. I write. I observe.
Tell me your vision.
Here’s the real deal. My vision is this – to make my own corner of the world a little brighter. That’s all I can offer in a world that seems sometimes to have gone mad. My vision is to give hope to little girls that their rent for womanhood is not meant to be paid in quantities of self-doubt and loathing. They don’t have to be perfect all the time. As a matter of fact, they don’t have to be perfect at all. They can make mistakes without the self flogging that my generation was taught.
Be a good girl. But don’t forget the boys like it when you’re bad…but not too bad. You don’t want a reputation. Dress appropriately. Unless you want to get somewhere then be willing to show a little something. Be smart but not too smart. Be pretty. Be polite. Don’t say no, you might offend someone. Don’t say yes either, because people might get the wrong idea. Watch your weight. Watch your language. Don’t be too soft, don’t be too tough. Be a little girl, but be sexualized at the same time. Walk with your head high but your eyes down. Chest out, butt tucked in. Never drink too much. Always wear a little make up. Don’t be smarter, stronger, faster or more capable than a man. It took a lot of us a long time to figure out that all of this……is a patent lie. We can be bold and sensual and demure and classy and athletic and delicate all at the same damn time. We can be an equal to our male counterparts and still revel in our femininity. We can be the prettiest tomboy on the block. We can be smart and not have it diminish our appeal.
My vision is to napalm the above referenced bullshit into oblivion. My vision is to see the next generation of young women stand up for themselves because the world sure as hell isn’t going to do it for them. My vision is to allow a young girl look at commercials and dolls and products which seek to find a place in their world and their home and see themselves, no matter what the color of their skin is. My vision is that a child’s world is filled with wonderous diversity.
I’ve never bent a knee to convention and chances are, I never will. I believe in the value of honesty and hard work and family and dedication and above all integrity.
My vision is that some of these archaic and incredibly fucked up social conventions which have been rammed down women’s throats can be cast aside and replaced by more common sense standards.
Normal standards. Work hard, play hard. Be kind, be charitable. Be what you want. Live a life filled with purpose. Believe that your body and your mind are temples in which only the worthy should enter. Have faith in your own abilities. Don’t judge your fellow woman. Not every woman wants to be a mother. Not every woman can be a mother. Not every woman wants a husband. Not every woman likes men. Not every woman is neat and tidy. Not every woman wants a career. Not every woman likes baking or cooking or cleaning or nurturing. Not every woman is weaker. Not every woman is compassionate. Not every woman is what she seems. We are deep wells of humanity, each of us. And we are all entitled to be who and what we are. No man I know would dare accept a snap judgement of his abilities based on his looks or weight or whether he has a wife or children. Nor should we.
My vision…that women can just be…women who are fulfilled in their own lives.
Can I fit that in the tagline for this blog?
That’s my vision.