Okay maybe I’m being a little dramatic here. I know I’m about to date myself when I say…
I remember when cauliflower was just a vegetable. Over the past 15 years I’ve watched it spread its little veggie wings and grow to become great things…
Like mashed potato substitute
Cauliflower pizza crust
Cauliflower Mac and cheese and no I do not mean the yummy kind that I make that has both pasta and cauliflower. This kind has the cauliflower dethroning and dare I say pretending to be pasta. Dems fighting words.
And yesterday I saw a recipe pop up for cauliflower hummus.
Ok healthy people. I’ve watched take a delicious vegetable and turn it into a mockery of its former self. So here’s my list of demands.
I want a cauliflower floor wax
I want a cauliflower bra
I want a cauliflower hair wreath so I can then balance a bowl of ranch haloed by candles on my head and be called a crispy Santa Lucia and the sporting part of this concept is running the gauntlet of fire if someone wants to dip said crudités in the ranch dressing. I like to keep things interesting
I want a cauliflower credit card so we can all eat our debt
I want cauliflower shaped fireworks at 4th of July
I want cauliflower dog collars and matching leashes
Cauliflower wreaths for doorways
There should be no bounds.