Plebian Etiquette?

Currently reading:  The Danish Girl by David Ebershoff, The Winter King by Bernard Cornwell, The Tong Wars by Scott D. Seligman and Dracula by Bram Stoker

Weight:  Not a clue.  But I squoozed myself into some hottie mctottie shorts the other day so yay me

Current mood:  Peaceful.  Dad has been moved closer and is settling in beautifully into new facility.  A huge thank you to all involved in this endeavor.  Our world feels a little lighter.

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I have little going on that resembles an exciting life.  My life is more what I would consider utilitarian.  It’s functional and full and rich and wonderful but hardly exotic and exciting.  I work, I cook, I spend time with my family, I read a lot, I talk to my dog.  I go food shopping and shave my legs.  I run when I can and do yoga and I also will hoover a box of Cheez-It’s when emotionally necessary.  Function.  It runs and rules and rocks my world.

The other day I noticed the trailer for the new Netflix comedy special for Iliza Schlesinger (if you haven’t seen her comedy specials – I highly recommend them) in her profile and was trying to find it again after viewing it a couple of days prior.  If you were ever tempted to peruse what social media “suggests” to you as something of interest, don’t fall for it.  I would like to humbly submit the evidence….

No offense to anyone else in the human race that subscribes to acupuncture; I commend you on your outside the box thinking…

But this individual humbly suggests to the rest of us ordinary Joes, us mere mortals, us PLEBS that our life somehow lacks due to inadequate funding and/or time to suck our butt fat out of our bodies into a gold lined bowl of which half should be designated to whip up a low cal ranch dressing for our arugula and moonbeam salad and the other half is allocated to plump our lips via holistic injection that leaves no carbon footprint while writing a cookbook featuring a diamond crusted rack of lamb with a jade egg up our hooha on the seventh day of the seventh month when a Buddhist monk rings a gong in the pitch of b flat whilst draped in designer clothes or caftans or body stockings, whichever is trendier.

It’s exhausting to keep up with the likes of Gwennie.  And I can’t lie; the first thought I had when I saw this picture was the fervent hope that someone may hit the nerve with one of the pin thingies that would make her forget her self importance, but then I read the caption.  I admit that I only know a little about a little and not everything about everything; but I do know pretentiousness when I see it.  Must be the all the books I read…

I don’t want to relate…….stop pretending I dooooooooooooo and that we should bond and braid each other’s hair.  I dislike you as much as I dislike opening my AmEx bill.

I’m gonna go work on a cookbook now…

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